Soul First Living

Moments of Letting Go

Moments of Letting Go... 

These moments are odd and quiet. Yet, I always remember them so clearly when they happen…one of the most profound of these moments was the one where I “let go” of the cancer outcome.

It, too, was a quiet moment – which struck me odd. There had been so many months previous to that where I cried, yelled at God, felt sorry for myself, imagined the worst, pictured my hubs at the funeral, where I thought about saying final “goodbyes”.

Then it happened…I let go.

I truly can’t say what prompted it. I wish I could.

Thinking back, I think it’s a realization of our individual place in the world, and it’s a sense of peace about the fact that we are not the ones in ultimate control.

Yes. I believe in positive thinking, I believe in the power of the mind, I believe we co-create our realities.

Yet, I’ve also found that there’s something more…there’s a cooperation with the Divine that doesn’t happen unless we let go.

Until we let go, we hold our core “oneness” at arm’s length with a certain amount of distrust.

Until we let go, we become ensnared in what we want the outcome to be.

Until we let go, there’s a haunting sense that we may not be okay.

I wish I could say that I am a skilled practitioner at “letting go”.

I am not.

I wish I could tell you step-by-step how to let go.

I can not.

I can only give you sign posts. I can only tell you what these moments have looked like for me.

For me, these moments come quietly and peacefully – usually, for me…after a long period of struggle and fighting with “what is”.

These moments of letting go are accompanied by a knowing that seems to be part of an endless well of confident knowing.

It’s a place that feels timeless.

When I let go with cancer, it wasn’t because I knew that I was going to be “cured” or that I somehow “knew” that I would recover, and it wasn't that I somehow "knew" that it wouldn’t come back and kill me as it had my aunts and my friends....yet it's not a feeling of resignation or giving up.

When I let go, it was simply a sense – a knowing – that either way (death or life), I’d be okay…that there was something that was “me” that was beyond what I commonly thought of as “me”.

This true “me” could not be touched by “good” or “bad”, by “health” or “disease”.

I knew that whether I lived or died, it would all be okay. I knew that, either way, I would be okay.

I had another of these moments this morning.

I have always wanted my own business. I have tried many different things over the years, spent lots and lots of money…and gotten very poor results, not to mention a lot of debt trying to figure it all out.

I have tried various incarnations of various ideas...with zero results. (Very frustrating.)

For as long as I can remember, there has always been a sense of "urgency" to bring forth these ideas, these businesses, to share information with people.

It's a sense of "I"ll arrive when...".

It's a sense of not being able to fully and completely relax.

As I was standing in the bathroom this morning getting ready, I was thinking about launching a new project - the first in a series on money, and I had a thought about my "cut bait" point.

At what point, do I "cut bait" with this project, with the ideas, with the businesses?

At what point, do I let myself "let go"?

The truth is, whether any of these ideas happen or not, are successful or not...I know that I am okay.

I know that I am - and will be - happy and content.

I love my life...and I got fed up this morning with a feeling of not allowing myself to fully enjoy the life that I've created because of a sense of obligation to these ideas.

It felt odd to think that if this next project is not successful and does not pull a certain return, that I would be content to go back to teaching, to pursue my PhD (which I plan to do either way), and make my life one of professional teaching.

It felt odd and a little sad, but highly liberating.

I got ready and headed down to the main office to get some coffee.

And that's when it happened.

As I walked toward the office, I turned to and soaked in this amazing view of the beach...

And I was covered in that sense of quiet calm, that sense of knowing.

I let go.

I felt FREE.

I knew that it would all be okay.

 

Freeing Myself of Email Clutter

I have no idea how I managed to end up with so much advertiser email...okay, I have an idea of how is happened...probably has something to do with the sketchy sites I went to for the going away party I had for my boobs right before my double mastectomy. (They were the only places I could get things like "booby" lollipops and party favors)...and on a friend's recommendation, I tried those online surveys.

What a nightmare...and a HUGE waste of time!

I have two criteria now for whether or not I need to be doing a certain activity...

1. Do I enjoy it...put another way, does it make my heart sing?
2. Is it putting money in my pocket?

Make no mistake about it...those two things are related...and not just because I enjoy money, but we have a tendency to do well those things we like, and therefore, we have a tendency to attract rewards for those things.

Yesterday, I talked about paper clutter. In the process of writing that post, I jotted other places you could have clutter, and I mentioned email...I often write things I need to hear, too.

In case you were wondering about the connection between money and clutter...clutter takes up space and prevents other things - like money - from coming into your life. Clutter indicates a poverty mindset...which happens to be "dead dog dangerous" to prosperity and abundance. 

The email thing has been bugging me for a couple of years now, but I didn't want to mess with it. Yet, it'd irritate me every time I opened my email.

Today, I tackled it.

Did it take time? Yes.

Convention says I probably should have paid someone else to do it, but I enjoyed it, and it was a calm, quiet peaceful activity early, early this morning...and I'm still getting to the important stuff today - my writing.

AND...I feel good about having taken this step. I'll do it a little bit at at time.

Next bit of clutter...my cell phone. That's become a bane, too!

The more I "clean up", the freer and more empowered I feel!  "Woo hoo," as Miss Frizzle would say!

Are YOU Clinging to Poverty?

 I'm talking about CLUTTER!

I had a revelation about this the other day.

There is a connection between clutter and poverty (or a poverty mindset).

I've had a basket full of papers for a while - notes, ideas, business cards, clippings...it's a nice basket, the papers are stacked neatly in the basket, but it is something that I am tolerating - it nags at me. (That's a partial picture of the pile after I pulled it out of the basket.)

I've unstacked the pile several times, and I've tried to organize these papers on more than one occasion...on many occasions, actually. Still, I seemed to get nowhere with the pile.

Finally, the other day, I got fed up...I thought about what was there - after all, I'd pulled these papers out enough to have the contents practically memorized. (Hey, I'm being honest.)

Then I asked myself...WHY am I holding on to these papers?

Truth is...I hadn't had need of any of these papers for a year or longer. Yet, I was afraid to get rid of them.

The dialogue in my head sounded something like this:

What if I needed these papers?

What if there was some opportunity in there that I'd miss out on?

What if I wanted to write something next week and it turns out that I needed something I'd thrown out with the pile? What would I do?

I felt guilty about collecting the business cards and having done nothing with them...after all, I went to the conferences, met these great people...yet, here the cards sat. (All they did now was make me feel guilty.)

There were magazines I'd gotten on airlines, and I now couldn't remember what I found so fascinating at the time.

The real issue here for me with the papers was, "There may not be enough"...and really, underneath that, is a concern that "I may not be enough".

I was shocked to see a "poverty mindset" - and a pretty pervasive one - behind the clutter.

In other words, the clutter was just a symptom of this mindset that was telling me, "There's not enough". And if you look at it carefully, in order to paralyze action, all this thought process had to do was merely suggest that there "may not be enough".

Where's the clutter in your life?

Clothes...paper...people...relationships, objects, seminars (learning's great but can belie a poverty mindset that you don't know enough), mimentos, shoes, bags, gift wrapping - be honest....do you save it to reuse?

Clutter is anything in your life that you are tolerating, that nags at you, that's holding you back.

It's not the objects or items that are the problem. It's the thoughts that may be causing you to hold onto them...take a good look.

A poverty mindset is anything that tells you "there's not enough", "the world is not abundant".

AND...by the way, I threw out the ENTIRE pile (except the info about adopting Tylos, the cat), and I haven't needed one single thing from that pile.

Besides, if I did...it's not like I couldn't find the information somewhere else.

AND...by the by, it felt GREAT to throw out all that clutter and be FREE!

(I'd argue that there's a direct connection between this action of releasing these papers - and the accompanying povery thoughts - and the turnaround I've seen in my finances.)

Victory With Twitter and Blog!!

Hallelujah! It's working.

I fixed it...and it was EASY to fix. (Truth is, I've known that the twitter and blog weren't connected properly for a month or so...but I was dreading trying to figure it out.)

It took all of two minutes to correct.

All my tech stuff has gone so smoothly today. 

I had a tech question about a vendor's capabilities, and I had put in my schedule to call today and get the answers I needed...I woke up with an email from another vendor answering all my questions, confirming that I can do what I want to do, and the email even told me HOW to do it. EASY!

I'm finding that the more I let go, the easier my life gets...and not because I don't have expectations, but because I'm open to seeing what's right in front of me.

In the last two months, I've seen such a drastic turn around, and I can only credit this to the WAY I've been approaching things...a much easier, relaxed way...all out of understanding, not blind faith.

Ahhhh, very little "work" required, and I feel like I've conquered the world!

I LOVE that feeling!

Blocks and Beliefs

Blocks are based in beliefs.

Your current circumstances are based in your beliefs.

You get what you believe, not what you need.

Here's the conundrum: Progress, growth and moving forward  - and yes, making money - depends on your being aware of the beliefs you hold.

Yet, that is often the area of our greatest blindness - we don't understand why we seem to be in the same situation over and over again, facing the same obstacles. Certain problems keep showing up like a bad penny.

See if any of these sound familiar:

• You have the same balance in your checking account...no matter how much money comes in. (The bills seem to go up in proportion to the money coming in.)

• You struggle to get clients.

• You sweat over moving your business forward...laying awake at night wondering if you'll meet payroll.

• You live paycheck to paycheck.

• You buy things to make yourself feel better.

...And no matter what you do, you seem to always end up in the same or similar situation.

But Why?

It's because we aren't aware of the beliefs that are driving our actions.

What's frustrating is when we change our actions - and  we get the same result! - That one is especially frustrating.

What's surprised me most in studying money and abundance is that the situations, like the ones above, have little to do with money itself...those situations are merely symptoms of something else.

Wallace Wattles in his book, The Science of Getting Rich, says that the acquiring of riches isn't about doing certain things, it's about doing things in a certain way.

That "certain way" -  and success or failure - is based in your beliefs.

You can be doing all the right things and even working your tail off - and still be getting mediocre results or worse!

But how do you see your beliefs - look at your circumstances. The situations that bother you, that you don't like...have something in common, some thread.

Find that and you find the driving belief. (I call them Shadow Beliefs.)

Then you can decide whether it's serving you or not.

P.S. If you want to get a handle on money and understand how you can make it come to you, you'll want to be on a call I'm doing in March. I've been working with Linda Hunt of Sum Solutions www.sumsolutions.com on income goals and understanding the structure of money. Linda is an amazing money eductaor and has run a successful, 6-figure bookkeeping firm. I've asked her if she'd be willing to be interviewed so that all of you can benefit from what she's shared with me. She agreed. Mark your calendars for Wednesday, March 11th at 8:00 pm. More information to come...

Money in the Bible - Discovering the Truth

I was actually getting ready to write about a different quote from Thoreau. I thought of Thoreasu this weekend as I continued work with Linda on Income Goals and the structure of money. (I'll include that one in the next post- it's a great one by which to check yourself.)

Then I saw this quote - one I don't recall having read in my English classes in high school or college. It could have been because I had always preferred Emerson although I've come to appreciate Thoreau more as an adult.

Money and Religion

This quote interested me because I've done a lot of thinking and studying in the last couple of years about Jesus, the Bible and God...and I guess it's no surprise that a good deal of my curiosity and interest has been in the area of money and abundance. (Money is a wonderful spiritual teacher.)

A lot of what I believed about money and the acquisition of money was in opposition to my desire for money, and I knew if I were to be successful in building businesses and acquiring wealth, then I'd have to get to the root of these money blocks - many of which centered around what I thought God, through religion, had said about money.

It's interesting that people have such a vehement reaction to Jesus, and that Jesus is associated with material poverty. When I was growing up, I got the impression that poverty was holy, that work should be difficult, and that Christians weren't supposed to be wealthy...that somehow money was corrupt or evil - and at the least, it was somehow not Christian to pursue money or be prosperous.

We underestimate how powerful such acquired beliefs can be - especially if associated with God.

Who wants to willfully defy God?

I certainly didn't. 

In actually going to the source on Jesus, the Bible, I discovered that no where...no where...in the Bible does it preach poverty or lack. In fact, just the opposite is true.

The Bible is not only a text for abundance, it talks about money specifically. You could use it as an instruction manual for becoming prosperous!

I was shocked!

It was definitely not what I had learned in church or from other Christians.

That's where this quote from Thoreau comes in...he talks about how hard it can be " to get the commentaries (that you've learned) out of one's head". He's saying that it can be difficult to discover the truth and make up your own mind.

I agree.

Do you know where your beliefs come from - or in what your beliefs are based? Are you even aware of what they are or are they operating "under the radar"?

Are your beliefs based in fear and lack?

A lot of mine were.

There is freedom in understanding.

Here's the quote:

"The New Testament is an invaluable book, though I confess to having been slightly prejudiced against it in my very early days by the church and the Sabbath school, so that it seemed, before I read it, to be the yellowest book in the catalogue. Yet I early escaped from their meshes. It was hard to get the commentaries out of one's head and taste its true flavor. — I think that Pilgrim's Progress is the best sermon which has been preached from this text; almost all other sermons that I have heard, or heard of, have been but poor imitations of this. — It would be a poor story to be prejudiced against the Life of Christ because the book has been edited by Christians."

- Thoreau from "A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers"

 

 

Sandra's Money Journal - What it is

I said that I would share, step-by-step, my journey toward the business empire, and I've shared my dream of staying home and making lots of money.

These posts on money and multiple streams of income are about abundance...I talk about money so much because it's a crucial tool in living the life you want to live - whatever that may be.

Sandra's Money Journal (SMJ) is a new section on the blog where I'll be sharing more details - the ups and downs - in my quest to understand money.

This is going to be the "stuff behind the stuff".

I found that there was a lot of information out there on money - a lot of how to - but a lot of it is formulaic and doesn't take into consideration the "unknown" aspect of money - the emotional, shadow side of our relationship to money.

Too often, when we see people writing about money or when we see people who are successful, we see the end result - and it's usually wrapped up nice and neat with a bow.

Life just isn't like that...at least not for me. (And I bet not for you, either.)

There's a lot that happens before you get to the "wrapped with a bow" stage.

In this section of the blog, you'll see a lot of your own fears, issues and obstacles with money...and will be able to see that "you aren't the only one". I want you to see my journey and say, "If she can do it, I can do it, too."

You'll see where I've messed up with money (bet you've done some of these, too), and you'll also see how I've turned situations around and learned to do things differently - easier to do than you think once you have an understanding of money and know why you do things - probably not why you think.

(I always thought mastering money would be this big, hard battle. In truth, my money journey so far has been fun and fascinating - bumps and all...and there have been bumps - some big ones, too!)

Money is like any other relationship, and ultimately, it's a spiritual journey.

Join me on this journey...better yet, start your own journey. Yours may not look exactly like mine, but the principles are the same.

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