Soul First Living

Choice

When we were in Kentucky last July, hubs and I had to go to the post office to mail some boxes.

We were warned before we went in that it would take 20 or 30 minutes...that this post office wasn't known for the best service.

But, we needed to mail some packages. So, we got in line.

It didn't take me long to see what the problem with the service was.

It was, indeed, slow, and the reasons were obvious.

We'd been in line 20 minutes. There were only 2 people working behind the counter - and one of them had been gone for 10 minutes helping a customer, and there was a line going out the door, about 25 people.

Well, as you can imagine, people were a little upset. They were grumbling about how awful this post office was, how terrible the service, how they always hate going there, how they can't believe the poor quality of service, and on and on.

Tons of moaning, whining and complaining. 

It really was disgusting to listen to. (Perhaps if people knew how ugly the behavior makes them seem, they'd do less of it...maybe they'd do less if they understood how it poisons their perspective.)

It went something like this...

One woman yelled to the guy behind the counter  - who was working very hard, "Can we get some service, here?"

Very calmly, he said, "Ma'am, I'm doing the best I can."

To which another woman responded, "Well, that's not good enough."

In all of the complaining, I overheard several of these women say how they always hate coming there, how terrible the service is...and on and on.

I have a problem with this on several levels...

First of all, this is a blame mentality, a "somebody done me wrong" kind of thinking.

This is ridiculous thinking...they KNEW, by their own admission, what to expect.

They KNEW what the lines were going to be like.

They KNEW what kind of service they were going to get: Slow.

Yet, they CHOSE to come to this post office anyway. Right there, at their choice, the onus is on them...not on the post office.

After all, there were other solutions to their postage needs. For example, there was an automated postal vendor in the lobby from which one could mail parcels. (Hubs and I couldn't use it because these were going overseas.)

Another reason this type of behavior and attitude bugs me is that it reveals a perspective that is out of whack with reality, not to mention common sense...after all, you're not dying and it's not cancer...or some other dread disease.

A situation like this at the post office wasn't one where children or small animals were being harmed - or where someone's life was at stake...although these women's attitude's made me wonder if they weren't going to lynch one of the postal workers. (But, I think they were too passive aggressive to actually take any constructive action. Besides, that would have ruined the fun of their complaining.)

(Maybe they don't have enough people working at this post office because no one wants to deal with the ugly attitudes.)

Please, people, be aware of how much you're choosing the situations you're in.

Catch yourself in the middle of complaining...or better yet, choose not to complain.

If complaining is a habit for you, I'd encourage you to treat it like a dangerous addiction. Complaining will ruin your life just as surely as crack or heroine...it certainly seems to be just as addictive.

Yes, we all get irritated...and that's normal, and there is a place for anger.

This seemed to be more of a sick, bitter sport.

We each have creative abilities...we can think and speak our reality into being, and no matter the reality, it's our thinking about that reality that makes it good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant, joyful or miserable.

There's a saying, "How you do one thing is how you do anything."

I wonder what the rest of these ladies' lives looked like...probably isn't pretty.

Shooting and Life

What is it you want in life?

What stands in your way?

That's me...I've always wanted to shoot skeet...ever since I was a kid, I've pictured myself shooting skeet.

I first learned to shoot when I was about 6 years old - Hey, I'm southern, and we lived on a farm. There were tons of guns around, my brother has always hunted, but I never picked up shooting as a sport.

My daddy wanted me to know how to shoot in order to protect myself if needed.

Then, I married my hubs and his dad shoots competetively.

So, about two years ago, they took me out...and I LOVED it!!

I even hit the first clay - mostly thanks to my father-in-law's sound guidance. He told me exactly where   the clay would come out, how it would fly and at what point I should try to hit it. (That's my father-in-law at the right.)

On my first time out, I hit something like 10 out of 25...not bad for a first timer...and all thanks to my father-in-law's coaching.

In my last post, I talked about how much I didn't like self-help. Frankly, anything that presumes to take away your power or make it lie outside yourself or God, is going to take you down a path that's going to lead anywhere except to your happy place.

That said, I absolutely believe in getting help from people who know more and are further down the path than you are.

However, to think that someone can "do it for you" or has something you need that's crucial for your happiness, is anything but the truth.

In this picture, I'm out with my "new to me" Binelli 12-gauge and about 7 or 8 guys - 2 of whom are tops in the country in their division. One had just returned from a competetive shoot in Europe...so, these guys really knew what they were doing.

You better believe I was doing exactly what they told me to do. I learned a TON that day about how the target flies...and about how I need to think and behave in order to hit the target.(Notice my father-in-law watching right behind me so he can see what I'm doing right/wrong...still have to learn, amongst other things, to lean INTO the gun.)

Life's not much different.

Here's a couple of things I've learned from shooting and how it applies to getting what you want:

1. Keep your eye on the target, not on the end of the gun. (Focus on where you are going, not on worrying how you are going to get there.)
2. Know how you work best with the gun...I learned that I do well starting with the gun down instead of starting at my shoulder. (How do you work best?)
3. Listen to all the advice and instruction. Try it all. That's how you discover what works best for you. (At some point, you have to trust yourself. But it's not a blind trust. It's a trust built from having studied, listened, and tried.)
4. Get so used to the gun, that you don't even think about aiming. Get to the point where you just KNOW that the gun is part of you. (This is a real example of how to manifest. Most people treat it like magic. It's not.There are very real energies at work. When you learn how to work with them, you can move forward in a state of serenity and knowing.)

The Shadow Side of Making a Shift

Any time you want to make a shift in your life, you need to understand what that shift may look like.

It's the Shadow Side of Making a Big Shift - or to be honest, any shift...the bigger the shift, the bigger the potential shadow.

The lack of understanding of this one "little" detail is the result of many people turning back or giving up on what they want, on the life they want, on their dreams.

When you committ to something, when you get excited about bringing something new to your life, when you commit to "doing things differently" and take action, you feel great.

You've got clarity. You're excited about the possiblities; you're loving the creativity.

You have that feeling...you just KNOW that "it" - whatever it is - is going to work.

You know - without a doubt - that you can have your dream, that it's within your grasp.

...And then, nothing.

...And then, everything goes wonky.

...And then, disaster strikes.

It might be computers crashing, finances going south, customers stop showing up...it could be something like it was for me a few years ago - cancer.

Whatever "goes wonky" will probably be your area of least faith and biggest fear.

(Great news, huh?)

At first, you may not get discouraged. Maybe you're the ultimate optimist and you keep trudging along.

But, if you're like most people, that's not what happens.

Most people get confused...and then discouraged...and then they they give up.

You think, "But I had this dream, But I had this vision." You think that you were following what you thought was your path...so you don't understand what's happening.

Many people assume that the obstacles, disasters, and defeats are "signs" that they are on the wrong path, that they aren't supposed to have their heart's desire....they take it as a sign that they misunderstood what God wanted them to do.

So, they stop. They turn back. They quit. They give up.

(And don't worry...I'm not going to go into a "silver lining", "pump you up" speech here.)

The truth is, you don't need a silver lining.

You just need a solid understanding of the Dynamics of Shifting.

Dynamics of Shifting

Here's what happens:

When you decide to go in a new direction and you start heading in that new direction, what you've done is basically, start a new life,  a new way of being.

You've made a choice.

You've chosen this new life over the old. (That's great. You can't move forward without a decision.)

What you're seeing as obstacles, as universal resistance to you and what you want, is simply the universe removing everything that's not working for you so that you can have what you say you want.

Is it fun and comfortable?

NO. Absolutely not.

There's a desire to quit, give up, panic...I'll admit that this has usually been my first, knee-jerk response. (I usually panic...and in the past, I would pull back.)

What you have to keep in mind...and this is crucial, is that whatever's happening is necessary for you to move to the next level.

How long you stay in this miserable, uncomfortable place, many times, depends on how much you resist or fight what's going on.

It's almost as if the universe is saying, "Okay, cool...we're glad to help you have this big dream. We've been waiting for you to be ready. Oh, but wait a second...this has to go, and this...oh, yeah, and this belief...it can't stay, either."

So, the universe gets busy getting rid of anything and everything that isn't going to be needed, useful or necessary in this new life you want. It gets rid of people, things, beliefs, situations that are not "in line with" where you've committed to going.

...and it's painful.

Danger Spot for Dreams

We resist what's happening, get down on ourselves, and even get mad at God for "letting us down", for not supporting us.

Then it happens...

We get tired of being uncomfortable and just slink back to our old life...thinking that we weren't "meant" to have what we wanted.

That's simply not the truth. What's happened is a misunderstanding.

If you can trust that everything you see - even the finances going wonky, relationships dissolving, everything that's supposedly telling you "no" - is really just a universal realignment, then you can relax - as much as you can - and let it happen.

You are "being prepped" to step into this new life, the dream life you wanted.

A lot of times, this is where people get "stuck". They don't want the old life, but they are resisting the change and release process that's necessary to have the new...so they get stuck.

EXAMPLE:

I'll use myself here and a recent example. I launched the business "officially" - as in website - on October 8th.

First, I ended up in "hyperlink hell". Then I discovered the lovely world of subdomains...and wanted to quit. Instead, I just spent that afternoon in tears...and decided to forego subdomains.

Then I did something to the code on a couple of pages...and destroyed said pages and had to redo.

Then I had a very strange weekend running into some negative people that made me wonder whether I really wanted to do this work that I do at all...it was beyond creepy.

Then I had several people want me to work for free.

Then, my finances went to "hell in a handbasket", and there was a week where I was getting some bill or the other in the mail every day...big, huge security issue for me.

Clients suddenly stopped showing up. None. (Okay one.)

And it's been that way for three weeks...three weeks may not seem like a long time, but if you could see the drastic nature of the change...you'd understand.

At week one, I panicked. I got mad. I questioned if I was on the right path...with everything I've been through to get here, I was crestfallen...I was willing to do whatever God wanted me to do...and I began to get confused. I spent a lot of time praying, trying to discern if I had misstepped.

That's when I got it.

I was simply on the Shadow Side of a Big Shift.

...and this one was really big, HUGE.

Now, some people will tell you that all of these things happening is the Universe's testing you. That may be the case, but to me, it makes the universe out to be sadistic...may be true, but I choose not to believe that.

I simply think it's a realignment process.

What was happening for me is that I was being shown where I was not in line with the original, bigger vision.

I wasn't trusting that what I wanted could happen in the way I was seeing it in my head...I thought that it might be just a little "too good to be true" - but it's what I really wanted, what I was committed to having. 

I was being challenged to release old beliefs about money. I was being challenged to trust.

I was being asked to "stick with" my original vision. (I set up several programs based on models I had studied...all of them are good, but simply aren't fully, authentically me or how I see myself working and serving. These things weren't what I wanted to do...or weren't the way I wanted to do them.)

Then I got excited because...all of these "bad" things were an indication that I wasn't going to "settle" for anything less...and that the universe was "watching my back"...without having these "negatives" come up, I would have continued on the path with things that didn't bring me complete joy.

So, I cancelled some programs, have redesigned others...and am reworking the site and what I'm doing...and I am so excited. I'm back to that place of total joy in what I'm doing and why I'm here.

Where I first got this lesson

I remember a very specific moment a few years ago.

I was on my way to the hospital. All of a sudden, I felt the most amazing sense of calm and knowing. I turned to my mom, and told her, "You know what, all of this, the cancer - these boobs - are going to be key in my having the life I've always wanted to have - the life I've pictured. I have to go through this to get there." 

I consider that moment a gift.

I had this deep, abounding calm that I had to go through this door that was cancer and that amazing good was going to come out of it...not only for myself, but for many others as well.

I can't explain that moment, but I'll never forget it.

When I committed to pursuing this life of my dreams (and God's will) years and years earlier, did I understand that it would mean cancer?

Uh, no.

But out of cancer has come my using my innate gifts and abilities to serve others with a gift I've tried to hide most of my life.

I've gotten to write which I love.

I'm in the process of creating a line of bras and bottoms that I can't wait to share...they're so much fun!

All of the seemingly negative messages and experiences I've been seeing lately are nothing more than a very large shift...even dreams go through a birthing process.

With the recent trials and tribulations, I've learned a ton - I've learned things that are necessary for me to know in order for me to move forward.

I've learned a ton about money. I've realized that I thought I had to continue one-on-one work, but I don't. I realized that the current structure won't support my financial goals.

Everythig that's happened is simply a "shaking away" of things that will hold me back or not support the new life.

So, I find gratitude.

When you stop resisting and turn away from the shadow...you can see the sun.

You can see the brightness and beauty that lies on the other side of the obstacle.

After all, there can't be a shadow without the sun. Turn your attention to the good that's there.

Gratitude in the face of Fear

So, why am I talking so much about fear...on a site that is all about having faith? Faith in yourself, faith in what you do, faith in your decisions, and faith in something bigger than yourself.

Living "Soul First" is all about following Inner Guidance over Outer Circumstances and trusting that it's all "for the good" - even if you can't see it, even if you don't understand...it's about buying into the truth of your Divinity...and leaving the lies and illusions behind.

So, what gives?

Well, given the current climate we're living in, I think it's important to talk about the fear...not to focus on it, but to understand it and deal with it in the open, with compassion for ourselves and for those around us.

I've had to confront a lot of fear in the last few years...in the form of cancer. I've faced old stories, where I've been, where I'm going, grief over not having found my purpose (which I now have - this site is part of that purpose), fear over dying sooner than would be expected, fear of leaving my family and firends behind and causing them pain.

The truth is...I wouldn't wish cancer on anyone, and yet, I'm grateful because the experience helped free me of fear...do I still feel fear? Absolutely.

Yet, I now know what my source and supply are...and that this can never be taken away...therefore, what is there to fear?

It is possible to be "in fear" and still move forward - when you recognize fear for what it is.

Fear is an opportunity to be released from a type of mental bondage...living in fear is like being enslaved to a very cruel master.

Think about it...when in fear, you make decisions not based on what you love, but on the fear of having no money. You constantly worry. You are trapped in a world where you're uncertain what to do, and there's constantly opposing forces - your heartfelt desire on the one hand (if you can actually feel it in spite of the fear), and you've got the fear on the other.

We were not designed to live this way.

When you feel fear, try to get to a place of gratitude. Sounds odd, I know.

However, if you understand that the "scary thing" is designed to show you love, that it happens for the highest good, then you can focus on the gratitude and the fear will seem to diminish.

The fear is brought to you to point out where you are living in a "less than" way...less than the magnificent, beautiful being you were designed to be.

Changing perspective and getting to gratitude does not mean that the difficulty will go away...but I guarantee that the weight of the burden will lighten.

Here's the story of how I faced the fear and got to gratitude along with some simple steps so you can get there, too. It's simpler than it may seem.

Most importantly, the answer to fear is not courage necessarily. The answer to fear is compassion - after all, we're all human. We all feel fear. It's okay.