Soul First Living

Choice

When we were in Kentucky last July, hubs and I had to go to the post office to mail some boxes.

We were warned before we went in that it would take 20 or 30 minutes...that this post office wasn't known for the best service.

But, we needed to mail some packages. So, we got in line.

It didn't take me long to see what the problem with the service was.

It was, indeed, slow, and the reasons were obvious.

We'd been in line 20 minutes. There were only 2 people working behind the counter - and one of them had been gone for 10 minutes helping a customer, and there was a line going out the door, about 25 people.

Well, as you can imagine, people were a little upset. They were grumbling about how awful this post office was, how terrible the service, how they always hate going there, how they can't believe the poor quality of service, and on and on.

Tons of moaning, whining and complaining. 

It really was disgusting to listen to. (Perhaps if people knew how ugly the behavior makes them seem, they'd do less of it...maybe they'd do less if they understood how it poisons their perspective.)

It went something like this...

One woman yelled to the guy behind the counter  - who was working very hard, "Can we get some service, here?"

Very calmly, he said, "Ma'am, I'm doing the best I can."

To which another woman responded, "Well, that's not good enough."

In all of the complaining, I overheard several of these women say how they always hate coming there, how terrible the service is...and on and on.

I have a problem with this on several levels...

First of all, this is a blame mentality, a "somebody done me wrong" kind of thinking.

This is ridiculous thinking...they KNEW, by their own admission, what to expect.

They KNEW what the lines were going to be like.

They KNEW what kind of service they were going to get: Slow.

Yet, they CHOSE to come to this post office anyway. Right there, at their choice, the onus is on them...not on the post office.

After all, there were other solutions to their postage needs. For example, there was an automated postal vendor in the lobby from which one could mail parcels. (Hubs and I couldn't use it because these were going overseas.)

Another reason this type of behavior and attitude bugs me is that it reveals a perspective that is out of whack with reality, not to mention common sense...after all, you're not dying and it's not cancer...or some other dread disease.

A situation like this at the post office wasn't one where children or small animals were being harmed - or where someone's life was at stake...although these women's attitude's made me wonder if they weren't going to lynch one of the postal workers. (But, I think they were too passive aggressive to actually take any constructive action. Besides, that would have ruined the fun of their complaining.)

(Maybe they don't have enough people working at this post office because no one wants to deal with the ugly attitudes.)

Please, people, be aware of how much you're choosing the situations you're in.

Catch yourself in the middle of complaining...or better yet, choose not to complain.

If complaining is a habit for you, I'd encourage you to treat it like a dangerous addiction. Complaining will ruin your life just as surely as crack or heroine...it certainly seems to be just as addictive.

Yes, we all get irritated...and that's normal, and there is a place for anger.

This seemed to be more of a sick, bitter sport.

We each have creative abilities...we can think and speak our reality into being, and no matter the reality, it's our thinking about that reality that makes it good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant, joyful or miserable.

There's a saying, "How you do one thing is how you do anything."

I wonder what the rest of these ladies' lives looked like...probably isn't pretty.

What does your Heart Reveal?

"Adornment is a reflection of the heart." - Coco Chanel

I'm sure Coco Chanel was referring to fashion...but perhaps that's not all she was referencing.

On first glance, this quote may seem shallow...as though it's saying looks are all important.

I believe she was saying that our outer circumstances and environment merely reflect what's going on inside.

She's implying - or stating, rather - than the outer has a strong tendency to reflect the inner.

I harp on environment - both internal and external - precisely because it's so important.

This doesn't mean you judge people by their looks or by a designer label or lack thereof.

If we define adornment as your dress, the way you care for yourself, the kind of environment you choose, your friends, your business...the way you choose to live your life, then we'd certainly hope that adornment is, indeed, a reflection of your heart...and your heart's desire.

Fill your life with the things you love and adore - and steadily remove those things that don't suit you or make your heart sing, and that goes for things, people and situations.

If you don't create your life the way you want it, who will?

Here's one last quote from Chanel that reflects her broad definition of beauty, adornment and fashion.

"Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening."
- Coco Chanel 

 

 

Shooting and Life

What is it you want in life?

What stands in your way?

That's me...I've always wanted to shoot skeet...ever since I was a kid, I've pictured myself shooting skeet.

I first learned to shoot when I was about 6 years old - Hey, I'm southern, and we lived on a farm. There were tons of guns around, my brother has always hunted, but I never picked up shooting as a sport.

My daddy wanted me to know how to shoot in order to protect myself if needed.

Then, I married my hubs and his dad shoots competetively.

So, about two years ago, they took me out...and I LOVED it!!

I even hit the first clay - mostly thanks to my father-in-law's sound guidance. He told me exactly where   the clay would come out, how it would fly and at what point I should try to hit it. (That's my father-in-law at the right.)

On my first time out, I hit something like 10 out of 25...not bad for a first timer...and all thanks to my father-in-law's coaching.

In my last post, I talked about how much I didn't like self-help. Frankly, anything that presumes to take away your power or make it lie outside yourself or God, is going to take you down a path that's going to lead anywhere except to your happy place.

That said, I absolutely believe in getting help from people who know more and are further down the path than you are.

However, to think that someone can "do it for you" or has something you need that's crucial for your happiness, is anything but the truth.

In this picture, I'm out with my "new to me" Binelli 12-gauge and about 7 or 8 guys - 2 of whom are tops in the country in their division. One had just returned from a competetive shoot in Europe...so, these guys really knew what they were doing.

You better believe I was doing exactly what they told me to do. I learned a TON that day about how the target flies...and about how I need to think and behave in order to hit the target.(Notice my father-in-law watching right behind me so he can see what I'm doing right/wrong...still have to learn, amongst other things, to lean INTO the gun.)

Life's not much different.

Here's a couple of things I've learned from shooting and how it applies to getting what you want:

1. Keep your eye on the target, not on the end of the gun. (Focus on where you are going, not on worrying how you are going to get there.)
2. Know how you work best with the gun...I learned that I do well starting with the gun down instead of starting at my shoulder. (How do you work best?)
3. Listen to all the advice and instruction. Try it all. That's how you discover what works best for you. (At some point, you have to trust yourself. But it's not a blind trust. It's a trust built from having studied, listened, and tried.)
4. Get so used to the gun, that you don't even think about aiming. Get to the point where you just KNOW that the gun is part of you. (This is a real example of how to manifest. Most people treat it like magic. It's not.There are very real energies at work. When you learn how to work with them, you can move forward in a state of serenity and knowing.)

Sick of Self-Help

This has been bugging me for a good, long while.

I am so sick of self-help that I can barely stand it.

There seems to be a sickness wherein people become obsessed with fixing themselves - or more correctly, hoping somebody else can do it for them....and there's a whole industry willing to take your dollar and give you a "magic pill" to help you "fix what's wrong".

I'm starting to think, though, that this is a type of addiction...and these self-help gurus are the pimps and pushers.

But never fear...this probably means that the pharmaceutical industry will, in short order, roll out a pill for you to pop...god forbid anyone actually have to confront a problem.

(Can you imagine the tv commercial for this pill? It'd be the pill to cure or curb the addiction to the "magic pill".)

Don't get me wrong. I'm all for improvement...and I'm not saying self-help is bad. I think it's the "magic pill" aspect that bugs me. 

To set things straight -

I believe in the law of attraction.
I think mindset is important.
I believe in personal responsibility.

But there seems to be a subtle belief - or not so subtle underpinning - that if you have problems or difficulties then you're doing something wrong and the next program or next book will fix all that.

Like I said, I believe in self-improvement. I am an avid student, but I was very much raised to be a "steel magnolia"...what I call a "tuffgirl".

When push comes to shove, you're the one living your life. Pull yourself up by your panties...or bootstraps...deal with your crap and move on.

If you're into self-help, you really should take a closer look at Jesus. He was a self-help master...the king of enlightenment.

(If you've got a problem with religion, don't dump Jesus and God in with that.)

Jesus tried to get people to see that the answer wasn't outside of you. He said, "The kingdom of heaven is within."

If you're looking for happiness, that's where you'll find it...inside.

Navel gazing does not get you anywhere...and there's a difference between active contemplation and examination and navel gazing.

And while you're at it, leave your inner child alone. Your inner child is not that complicated and doesn't need to be talked to for years, and if he's going to whine, he probably needs to be spanked.

Last thought...

What I'm seeing is that certain gurus tout the "if you just follow my system" or "just say these affirmations", then your life will be what you want it to be. 

Beware of the "if you just" mentality...that puts you in a situation where the answer and the power is outside you...it is not.

God didn't make you broken.

I tell clients all the time...you're not broken. The problem is in thinking that you're broken or that you need to "just do x or y or z" and then you'll have this amazing life.

You can have whatever life you want right now. At the very least, you can start working in that direction. The bigger the obstacle, the better the story you've got to go with it if you frame your story to serve you, and since you write the story of your life - no one else - don't you think it might be a good idea to tell a story that makes you the hero in your own life?! 

Not getting "what you want" doesn't mean you're a bad person, weak, or a bad "visualizer". The more interesting question to ask is, "What is your reaction to not getting what you want?"

Do you give up? Do you move into self-recrimination?

Do you trust that it's all for the good and find yourself saying "thanks"?

The process of navel gazing in the pursuit of some perceived ideal of nirvana simply leads to dissatisfaction...and to your missing out on your life. Before you know it, it's gone, and you're left wondering what happened.

The truth is you are never going to be problem free...never, at least not while you're still breathing.

I'll leave you with a quote by William Blake. Instead of picking up another self-help book, grab some of William Blake's works and chew on that for a while.

Being able to do what he's talking about here is one way to nirvana, to peace...and it's a heck of a lot more interesting than navel-gazing.

"To see the world in a grain of sand, and to see heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hands, and eternity in an hour." -

Receiving vs. Pursuing Success

Receiving is a very feminine way to live life and do business...I'm finding that it makes EVERYTHING so much easier.

We're all making this SO HARD...we're not meant to struggle

I'm not saying we won't have obstacles or problems...wouldn't life be boring without them?

(Plus, the second you don't have challenges is the same second you cease to be here on the planet.)

And I'm not saying you don't have to take action...just that it's easier to take action on things that come to you, on things that are in line with your vision of where you want to go, of how you want to get there, and of how you want to be.

When you take action from this place of receiving, action becomes Easy, Joyful and Graceful.

Where we get stuck...

We get "stuck" when we resist what's happening around us or try to "force" things to happen in a certain way.

I'm not saying to "give up on your goals". Not at all.

I'm saying instead of plan, plan, plan and pursue, pursue, pursue...try the "Receive" approach.

This is something that I'm coming to understand on a whole new level...in large part due to relentless study - there's truth to the saying "seek and you will find" - but on a practical level, this new realization (and easy implementation) is thanks to the book Attracting Perfect Customers: The Power of Strategic Synchronicity.

I stumbled across this Reality of Receiving thanks to cancer - had lots of realizations thanks to the Big "C". You can Read My Story Here .

I saw through my own body, the power of picturing what you want - not what you don't. It's the power of a clear vision and a strong desire - a desire that comes from the center of who you are.

KEYS TO RECEIVING

Since getting crystal clear on what it is I truly want in terms of how I want to work...and not skimping on this vision - ie being really honest about what it is I want...amazing things have just dropped in my lap in the last week!

It's like the universe has been waiting for me to say "Okay" to the vision...it's been that simple.

The thing is - The vision I had was so wonderful, I thought that there's no way it could really be that easy and that much fun...I'm a pretty good believer, and I was having trouble stepping into this magnificent vision.

My other mistake was that I looked at everyone around me and what they were doing...instead of doing things my way, instead of following the vision first.

(I think if most of us were honest, we'd admit that what we say we want, isn't the whole truth. There's a lot of "crap" that's in there simply because we think it has to be.) For example, I work as an intuitive. I thought that meant I had to have coaching programs and do one-on-one work. I've known from day one that I don't want to coach...I've known I was meant to work one-to-many not one-to-one (except for consulting with doctors/psychiatrists, etc.)

BUT...I kept pursuing and planning based on what I thought I had to do, not on the vision or on what really jazzed me.

I thought I had to do things like everyone else. It's not true.

Here's what I got clear on. This was the true vision and how it played in my head:

• I wanted my clients/my audience to come to me - through radio shows, interviews, other people sharing my message and articles/books with their list and clients
• I want to be interviewed and have articles placed in major national magazines.
• I run multiple businesses and model how to do this. I can present myself as a whole. For example, I have a line of bras/bottoms coming out in the next year - you'll LOVE them...and I'm opening another national chain in the health arena. (I so want to share and can't yet on that one. I'm just now contacting a key player.)
• I only do one-on-one/consults for doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists
• I am open about the more unusual aspects of my work and the energies around us
• As an author, speaker and business owner/entrepreneur, I expand people's experience and knowledge of God - what this energy is, how it works and how to work with it as a co-creator.

Here's a glimpse of what has happened so far...

1. Two radio show contacts that are a perfect match for me and my message were sent to me
2. I was sent another contact/request about an article in a popular national magazine
3. I've been attracting perfect customers and collaborators like crazy - and they've been coming to me - just showing up!!
4. An article in the NY Times on house clearing gave me the opportunity to be open and share that aspect of my work. Again, this showed up immediately upon getting clear.
5. I met a gal - when I went to get shots - who told me about a fully accredited M.S. program in Complementary & Alternative Medicine - I've already got the ball rolling. I had been investigating programs but with no luck. When I stopped, got clear on exactly what I wanted, then let go and trusted it was there, BAM! - it showed up. Literally the next day

6. I've had people share my articles with their lists and send me the copies...this, too, happened instantly when I got clear.

7. I'm producing a CD that will be available in the next few weeks. I'm being interviewed (again)...and I'll be able to make that available for the cost of shipping and handling...so that I can get my message out to that large audience. Keep Your Eyes out for it...

From Cancer to Confidence:
How to Overcome Obstacles and Move Forward in the Face of Fear
...Practical Lessons in Manifesting, Magic, Money and Miracles

This CD will give you key points and tools from my forthcoming book by the same name.

This process truly has worked like MAGIC, and I'm beyond excited to have FINALLY gotten to this place where I understand how the same  "miracle and magic" that I tapped with cancer feels when applied to business.

I've seen physical miracles in my own body. So, I knew they were possible... but I don't think my mind could even grasp what it would feel like to live in the magic every day, in every area of my business.

It's pretty amazing...and it's available for everyone.

AIM first, make sure your aim is true - that it's something you truly desire...then watch it drop in your lap.

The Fallacy of Focus

Just a thought today on how we "normally" do things.

Common wisdom says you have to focus on one thing at a time. Or, don't be a jack - or jill - of all trades.

After many years of struggling with this, I discovered that I actually work well - better even - on more than one project at a time.

When I'm writing articles, I will often be working on 2 to 3 at a time. When I get stuck on one, I go to the next. I discovered that this system works wonderfully well for me. There's no writer's block working this way because I'm not stressed when I reach a "no more ideas" place with one article.

I simply move on to the next one.

When I get to that "stopped" place in article #2, I simply go to #3 - or back to #1.

It seems that changing my focus between articles serves much the same function as, say, taking a walk can do - or a nap - when in the middle of a big project.

You let go and let your subconscious take over so that the right answer or right direction can just bubble to the top...and it always does.

Now I always work on more than one thing at a time.

But, my advice is always, "Do what works for you."

I just figured some of you may have felt odd or somewhat abnormal odd because you couldn't keep focus on one thing.

I know I used to berate myself because I thought I "should" be able to focus like other "normal" people.

I think that the focusing on one thing at a time is more of a male oriented way to function. Nothing worng with that, but let's face it, women are phenomenal multitaskers...and that's not a bad thing.

I'm finding it actually leads to amazing productivity.

The bottom line is...

Find out how you work best and embrace it!